New Developments

Today I have done a lot of thinking, praying, and trying to decide what my next step in my life is supposed to be. I am honestly not too sure. I started my weight-loss journey about 5 months ago. I have fallen off the wagon, got back on, fallen off again and again got back on more times than I can count but now there seems to be a change in me. I may not like going to the gym all the time but slowly my habits and priorities have been changing. When I'm thirsty, more often than not I grab my water bottle to drink and not that can of Pepsi that I used to love. Now Pepsi doesn't really appeal to me. Oh there are days that I crave Pepsi but I try and try to not cave in. When I'm frustrated or mad and feel like giving it all in - I head off to the gym and try to release my anger that way. Am I perfect? NOT BY A LONG SHOT.

From finally watching what I eat - or at least trying to - and working out regularly, I lost 9.5 lbs in a month - which is a little less than 2 lbs a week. I am in this clinic that is helping me loss weight and they are monitoring me medically, making sure everything is okay. Well I had an appointment on Thursday and they told me that on my next appointment if I continue with everything they will schedule me an appointment to meet with a surgeon that will preform one of three gastric bypass surgeries on me. Well at first I was very excited, but now reality is hitting me.

What will it be like? What will I become? Will I like who I become? Can I even go through with the surgery? Do I have such bad eating habits already that I will be screwed and die? Do I even want to be smaller? -Yes I do but how different will I look? Will I even be me after - inside and out? Will I turn into a Bi***? All these questions are running through my head and I don't know the answers to most of them and it is scaring me spitless.

I am at a loss......

American Sign Language

I can't believe it has been since December since I last wrote a blog. Oops! I guess I'm just going to have to get writing again. There has been some big changes in my life since December and one of them has been the passion that I have found in ASL.

Since December, I have moved out of my apartment into a townhouse, got a roommate - two actually, got a puppy, and took Level 1 and 2 in American Sign Language. In a little over two weeks I am going to be taking American Sign Language in an Immersion Course through the local Deaf Society here. I absolutely can't wait to take it. I want to become a sign language interpreter and this will help me. I have a few things right now on the go and that I have to deal with but I'm planning on taking level 3 in the fall and then hopefully moving on up to Level 4 right after that. After I am done level 4 and with my immersion course I will have about 125 hours of sign language instruction done and then to become an interpreter I think I have about 400 more hours to go. It seems like a lot but since I am only taking sign language in the evenings, it will take a bit longer than normal to get all my hours completed. The only thing is, I wish I had more people to sign to. I really want to practise and get good, and be able to have full conversations with people in ASL. Anyway.....